[Heyward Ehrlich <ehrlich@andromeda.rutgers.edu>: [The New York

Heyward Ehrlich (ehrlich@andromeda.rutgers.edu)
Sat, 5 Apr 97 6:53:08 EST

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Approved-By: Norm Holland <NNH@NERVM.NERDC.UFL.EDU>
Message-ID: <Pine.ULT.3.95.970404162912.29567A-100000@delphi.umd.edu>
Date: Fri, 4 Apr 1997 16:36:45 EST
Reply-To: Institute for Psychological Study of the Arts
<PSYART@NERVM.NERDC.UFL.EDU>
Sender: Institute for Psychological Study of the Arts
<PSYART@NERVM.NERDC.UFL.EDU>
From: "John B. Holland" <jholland@delphi.umd.edu>
Subject: Microsoft Resturant (fwd)
To: Multiple recipients of list PSYART <PSYART@NERVM.NERDC.UFL.EDU>

As someone who loves restaurants and has suffered with various
"support" systems from software manufacturers, I can't resist posting
this (forwarded to me by my computer guru son). --Best, Norm
----------------------------Original message----------------------------

IF RESTAURANTS FUNCTIONED LIKE MICROSOFT!

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What
seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it
with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of
bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration
problem; how
was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with
the fly in my soup?
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the
fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the
Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running
late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[Waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
----------
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $10.00
Editors Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge (will be
fixed with Tomorrow's soup of the day)

You assume, ofcourse, that the waiter ANSWERS. My waiter is dumb.
He neither speaks nor writes.