PSYARTers of a philsophical turn of mind may enjoy this. --Best, Norm
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Dear Norm, You want funny, there's the infamous Sartre Cookbook.
Or maybe you've seen this before? Best, Andy
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Subject: Sartre Cookbook (fwd)
To: agordon@nervm.nerdc.ufl.edu
Date: Fri, 3 Mar 1995 13:52:28 -0600 (CST)
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL20]
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> >
> > The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook
> > -- by Alastair Sutherland
> >
> > from Free Agent March 1987 (a Portland Oregon alternative newspaper)
> > Republished in the Utne Reader Nov./Dec. 1993
> >
> > We have been lucky to discover several previously lost diaries of French
> > philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre stuck in between the cushions of our office
> > sofa. These diaries reveal a young Sartre obsessed not with the void,
> > but with food. Apparently Sartre, before discovering philosophy had
> > hoped to write "a cookbook that will put to rest all notions of flavor
> > forever." The diaries are excerpted here for your perusal.
> >
> > October 3
> >
> > Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has never actually
> > eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home immediately to begin
> > work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet.
> >
> > October 4
> >
> > Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I keep
> > creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching into the sea,
> > but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want to create an omelet
> > that expresses the meaninglessness of existence, and instead they taste
> > like cheese. I look at them on the plate, but they do not look back.
> > Tried eating them with the lights off. It did not help. Malraux
> > suggested paprika.
> >
> > October 6
> >
> > I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese) is
> > bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarettes, some coffee, and
> > four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am encouraged, but
> > my journey is still long.
> >
> > October 10
> >
> > I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional
> > dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so acutely.
> > Today I tried this recipe:
> >
> > Tuna Casserole Ingredients: 1 large casserole dish
> >
> > Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the oven
> > and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When night
> > falls, do not turn on the light. While a void is expressed in the
> > recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle.
> > How can the eater recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole
> > and not some other dish? I am becoming more and more frustrated.
> >
> > October 25
> >
> > I have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire
> > cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself,
> > embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as
> > providing the eater with at least one ingredient from each of the four
> > basic food groups. To this end, I purchased six hundred pounds of
> > foodstuffs from the corner grocery and locked myself in the kitchen,
> > refusing to admit anyone. After several weeks of work, I produced a
> > recipe calling for two eggs, half a cup of flour, four tons of beef, and
> > a leek. While this is a start, I am afraid I still have much work ahead.
> >
> > November 15
> >
> > Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries and a
> > live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word cake. I was
> > very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could not stay for
> > dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my most profound achievement yet,
> > and have resolved to enter it in the Betty Crocker Bake-Off.
> >
> > November 30
> >
> > Today was the day of the Bake-Off. Alas, things did not go as I had
> > hoped. During the judging, the beaver became agitated and bit Betty
> > Crocker on the wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable of felling
> > blue spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless to say, more
> > than a match for the tender limbs of America's favorite homemaker. I
> > only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject of a rather nasty
> > lawsuit.
> >
> > December 1
> >
> > I have been gaining twenty-five pounds a week for two months, and I am
> > now experiencing light tides. It is stupid to be so fat. My pain and
> > ultimate solitude are still as authentic as they were when I was thin,
> > but seem to impress girls far less. From now on, I will live on
> > cigarettes and black coffee.