Another amuser that came across my screen. For those PSYARTers from
other lands who may never have been exposed to this question
by an excited four-year-old who has just learned the oldest
riddle in U.S. lore, the riddle is, "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" And the answer is: "To get to the other side."
--Best, Norm
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Celebrity Answers to that age-old question:
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
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Moses: And God came down from the heavens, and he said unto
the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did *not* cross the road
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this *chicken*
doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file your important
documents AND balance your checkbook. Unfortunately, when it
divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" But is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
crossing?"
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned
to cross roads.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and
keep in him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and
that was good enough for us.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
there was.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road -- it
transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Colonel Harlan Sanders: I missed one?
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P.S. Who is Fox Mulder? --Norm