Expectations ran high on both "sides" coming into July's General Convention. Some were hopeful that the HOD would pass for the first time a resolution specifically calling for the development of a rite for the blessing of same-sex unions. Some others were so convinced that this would be the case that many preparations for leaving ECUSA had begun in anticipation. The foundation for this was laid out carefully, setting the stone of Jack Spong's Twelve Theses upon the stone of the failure of the church to condemn Walter Righter upon the stone of local/diocesan failure to pass resolutions affirming the truth of the more controversial Lambeth resolutions. Firm foundation. As soon as GC voted how everyone knew we would, the die was cast and folks were packing.
However, when we didn't pass the eighth resolve of D039, it was as though an enormous ball had been set into its downhill motion and had rolled past the point of no return. Instead of being pleased that so many were moved to compassion for those who felt threatened or compromised by this resolve and voted against it for the sake of unity, something more akin to disappointment set in, as though the Church had let them down somehow by not living down to their expectations and fears. The waters had been read wrongly.
I've done that myself, actually, in sailing. I've scoped out the waters of Navajo Lake or wherever and decided we could go out without reefing the mainsail, only to get out into the main body of the lake to face gale winds and whitecaps and needing two reefs in the main to keep from taking on water over the combing. It's easy to misread the water, especially when you want it to show you a certain kind of wind or weather.
There's a difference, though. When Wayne or I have misread the water and gone out under too much sail, we "lay to" and tie in the needed reef points so our Cape Dory 25 is no longer trying to behave like a Laser in a gale. We backtrack and adjust our expectations and hopes for the afternoon.
This July, those who were expecting a hurricane received instead a summer breeze, but they had planned so carefully to take their boats to another harbor that they had begun to live in the future instead of in the present, and in Colorado several congregations are already in the process of leaving ECUSA anyway, as though the outcome of GC had been precisely the opposite of what actually occurred. It is as painful for the rest of us as an amputation.
I found the tenor of GC to be largely one of fellowship, compassion (mutual), conscientious seeking of the will of God by most, if not all, and a time of deep reflection and commitment to one another, regardless of our views on human sexuality.
It was sort of like how things are in small town churches where one can't just pick up and move to the next congregation if s/he doesn't like the priest's politics--the same priest is there down the road, too, and it's a thirty-mile drive, not a thirty-block one. We have to live with one another and love one another and support one another and pray for one another in spite of our differences. We can't leave. We've made commitments to the Body.
The week before GC, I was celebrating at our Thursday evening Eucharist, and we didn't have any "real bread," so I used an old stale priest's host. It was so hard that, at the fraction, I really had to work to get it to break. As it finally snapped, I heard in the ear of my pious imagination, "The Body of Christ will not be so easily broken as you may fear, Kathy." I took that hope with me to Denver.
Words of spite, grievous misunderstanding, and the determination NOT to see grace where I knew there to be grace, or, even worse, to see evil where I experienced good firsthand--these are indeed poisonous and painful, but the presence of Christ is stronger. The grace of God in the song and prayer and the smile on Louie's upturned and shining face after the salting incident far outweighed any negative intent.
Remember the grace, my brothers and sisters, and pray for the pain.
In Christ,
Kathy Glenn
C3, Colorado
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